«Don’t confuse me with the particulars! » «I need to find out this from my truth only! » Sound well-known?
Have you noticed how reasons escalate with emotional abusers? They tell you that something is bothering them in no uncertain terms, nonetheless often fail to fill you in on what any hell it is. So in this article you are knowing fully everything that they feel, yet most people remain in the dark why.
Then, if you get lucky, they may expand on their concern with you feel this sigh of relief, because today you have something you can tackle or at least address. Therefore you seek to share your perspective, your point of view. And wham, you’re cut off by means of, Don’t confuse me along with the facts. My mind is composed.
You sense unheard in that moment when you, indeed, are… You are not granted permission to share. You are not a great opinion that differs coming from theirs. You see, if you wait to your point of view, there is a charge in this interaction with an emotional abuser.
What psychological and mental abusers are really telling you is that there is no room to your reality in a discussion with them. Embracing your viewpoint is beyond them. The truth is, your perspective doesn’t assure their consideration, because they previously made up their mind and in addition they really don’t want you to mix them up with them with your facts.
Part of how they deal with their exclusive vulnerability is to make you erroneous in order for them to be best suited. As you know, from where that they stand, they must be best. So, don’t confuse them with the facts.
To get this message by means of you, the emotional abuser will pile on another tier of attack aimed to fix you in your tracks. It might just sound like this… «Well, what a logical position, BUT…
You know a «but» is approaching and with it is the up coming emotional assault.
If this is the pattern of interaction with your intimate spouse, take a hard and fast look at the mother nature of abusive relationships. All the better you grasp these kind of dynamics, the easier it will be that you break the cycle of abuse before it spirals out of control.
The price you will pay is verbal developmental abuse. You know the discussion is over, so you pull it back and lick that wounds inspired by the psychological and mental abuse dished out to keep you in your place. For everybody who is following me in this description of this interaction, then you have probably experienced verbal emotional exploitation. It is both subtle and significant. It leaves most people emotionally off base, quite often even before you know what appeared.
Most of the mess around «don’t confuse all of us with the facts» is nothing more than an effort to re-establish an unequal distribution of electric power in the relationship. The psychological and mental assault or blow on your character is their attempt to tilt the climb, because in that moment they are really tasting their own vulnerability.
It may begin with, «That’s the problem with you… That you are too intense, too persuasive, too late with this kind of explanation, too whatever to compel me to take you will in and actually hear that there is something to say… worthy of your attention, much less my factor. » Get the picture?